We all get a little lost sometimes.
In the world of weight loss, I felt lost most of the time. Even when my weight happened to fall at the “right” spot, I would endlessly beat myself up for eating something I thought I shouldn’t have. There wasn’t much joy in that area of my life and that anxiety spilled over into other areas of my life. Relationships were bruised by the way I saw myself. The silent soul slitting words that I would never say out loud to anyone else, I silently screamed at myself. Shaming my body and not to leave anything out, my mind and soul as well. The judgements and the silent punishing words we say to ourselves are realized as ghastly attacks on our souls that frighten us into moving in the opposite direction of where we truly want to go. Of course, this applies to our bodies and weight wellness. When we constantly hear cutting words, we can feel worthless. When we feel worthless it goes hand in hand with choosing things that we believe we are worthy of. It is almost impossible to keep doing the things that are worthy of what we truly want for ourselves. After some deep soul work, I learned more deeply about a topic, I thought I understood pretty well. I knew forgiveness was essential for relationships and I understood it was a gift for all involved. I was sure I had gotten to the highest possible forgiveness point where I thought I needed to. But, when I dove in, when I had surrendered to the other thoughts that haunted me, because there was nothing left to do. I was lifted and it was as though I could breathe again, finally, and I hadn’t even realized I was drowning. The forgiveness that I gave myself was the air to my drowning innocence. It started there, but it changed everything after. I realized I need to forgive MYSELF in all areas of my life and I finally believed in unconditional love for myself. There wasn’t anywhere the forgiveness didn’t touch. Finally being able to release the chains of the silent soul slitting words in my head brought the pure freedom I hadn’t remembered ever having. I began seeing myself differently, as worthy of all I had imagined for myself. I let go of the number on the scale and I learned that when I did so, it was so much easier to choose what was worthy of what I truly wanted for myself. It was a beautiful opportunity to stop and start again. You can see why forgiveness is my favorite F word! Realize that you need to forgive yourself. In order to allow weight wellness into your body, you need to forgive yourself, totally and completely. The physical weight that we carry is about so much more than just physical weight. Forgive the person that you used to be. You were doing the best that you could with your circumstances. Forgive the fear that you weren’t good enough. Forgive seeking relief in food. Forgive the silent words in your head. The words were trying to protect you. Forgive uncontrollable eating and choices that didn’t match up with your worthiness. Forgive yourself for thinking you weren’t worth it. Forgive the comparing yourself to others and judging yourself as less than. Surrender it. These things don’t serve you any longer; it is safe to let them go. Here is one of my favorite forgiveness practices. I have found many, but this one resonates with me as divine guidance.
I hope this serves you! Namaste I am a life and wellness coach, if you would like to work on forgiveness, weight wellness or other issues, check out my Work With Me page.
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August 2018
AuthorI was a school teacher for 20 years and am a lifetime soul learner. I am still a teacher, just a different curriculum. |