How to Love Yourself Unconditionally & How Disney Villains Can Help

How to Love Yourself Unconditionally & How Disney Villains Can Help

How can Disney villains help you figure out how to love yourself unconditionally?  Well…Disney has the story business figured out. 

We eat up their movies and merchandise that all stem from those amazing stories.  If you’re a human that likes media even a tiny bit, you probably know at least a few of their stories. 

Disney usually uses the classic battle of good over evil.  I think that is one reason that so many of us can relate to them. 

There is a vulnerable hero and a villain.  Many times the hero’s parents have died, leaving us full of compassion and rooting for our heroes. 

But, the villain’s story isn’t often told.  I have learned from A Course in Miracles that in life there is love and there is fear.  I see the villains as being afraid and acting out defensively.  They are actually calling out for love.

Cinderella’s wicked step sisters are afraid that they are not as good or as beautiful as Cinderella, so in their jealousy and envy they hold her down and back from life. 

Scar is afraid that he is not as worthy as Simba and that Simba will take his chance for glory and so he attacks violently.  Of course, it is all part of the story, but it happens in real life as well. 

Young girls insecure of their own worth, say horrible things about a new beautiful girl, because they are afraid that they won’t measure up.   

Young men sometimes fight violently to prove that they are on top of the social heap. 

I am not saying this is O.K. by any means; it is not an excuse for their actions, but an explanation that can help us understand and hopefully help us get to a place where fear can be processed in a higher way without harmful consequences.

If we are willing to look at this differently, there is valuable learning for us all.

Seeing villains in their fear and calling out for love can teach us empathy.

Most of us identify with the villain at least some, but think or maybe hope, that we would not make their same choices. 

Everyday most of us have both the hero, love and the villain, fear living inside of us. 

We can feed the love, honor the love, and lean toward the love.

But I believe we need to honor the fear side also.  It is a real part of life for most of us.  If we can learn to weather the fear storms and let them pass through us instead of fiercely resisting them, we can give ourselves the tremendous gift of peace and wellness, rather than suffering and searching for relief outside of ourselves. 

Here is a process that helps me weather fear storms, I am sharing it here, in hopes that it can help others.  We are all made differently and thus somethings work differently for different people.  Look for things that resonate and make sense to your soul.

1. When you sense fear in yourself, notice where it is in your body.
2. Breathe into where the fear is settled in your body.
3. Name it, to tame it.  Hello, fear, here we are again.
4. Ask what the fear is trying to tell you and listen.

Is there a message or an invitation from fear?  Is it calling for more love for yourself?  Is it asking you to see others and yourself with compassion and empathy?  Listen.
    5. Accept & Release
Use this simple breathing technique:  Breathe in, accept fear.  Breathe out, release fear.  Or, something else to help you process and release the fear energy.  Crying can be a miraculous release.

There is no shame in having fear, we all have it and we all carry it differently. 

Sometimes we think we should be able to control our fear and the emotions that come with it, but allowing them to flow through you, like a storm passing through, ends more peacefully than resisting fear and blocking it off. 

The energy needs to flow, otherwise the pressure builds and must be relieved in other ways like food, alcohol, or rage. 

Accepting and loving our fear or our villain side is vital to unconditional love of our selves.   If we only love our hero side that is conditional love.  It says we can only be loved when we are standing fully in love.  But, if we can love ourselves in our villain side, when we are standing in fear, that is truly unconditional love. 

Using this process helps allow fear storms to pass through us, leaving us with more peace and joy and clear eyes to see the rainbow of unconditional love and our worth that came with it.

The rainbow is just the light dispersed through a prism.  It is the same light that was always there, just a different way of looking at it that makes it visible.  The same goes for our worth, it was always there, and sometimes we need a different way to look at it. 
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Kim Trotto is a life and wellness coach.  If you'd like to work on Going from Doubt and Fear to Peace and Happiness,  schedule  a free 20 minute Discovery Call, click this link to see if we would be a good fit for working together.

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