Get out of my way! You F—ing B-tch! I remember those angry words shouted at me by a 7th grade student in our noisy, crowded hallway at the end of a long day. I remember the fierce look on her face and the tears welling in her eyes.
Obviously she was upset about something and it probably didn’t have anything to do with me. I had compassion for her, but I didn’t understand then that all actions are either an extension of love or a call for love, based out of fear or the ego. This concept is from a beautiful text, A Course in Miracles.
I can see clearly now that she was calling out for love and fear or her ego was running her show at the time. I don’t remember exactly how I responded but I did write a referral for the words. I would like to think that I was kind and compassionate in my interaction with her, but honestly I doubt it. I know I did feel compassionate and wonder what had happened with her.
That girl was trying to protect herself from something daunting and she may not have had the tools to respond with love.
Now, I know that our ego or fear is our teacher to learn and remember love. It also tries to protect us.
This same concept can be related to ourselves and the fears that come up inside of us; those terrible things that we say to ourselves in the silent shadows.
When I get thoughts like, I’m not good enough to fit in with this group, or my butt looks horrible in a bathing suit, and I still get them all the time. I say to myself, thank you for trying to protect me, but I am trying something new. I’m going with unconditional love for myself now and it is going to be OK. And it always is.
I was a school teacher for 20 years and am a lifetime soul learner. I am still a teacher, just a different curriculum. I am living the life I have always dreamed of through helping others and designing my own life. I share things I found on my journey to body happiness, weight wellness, worthiness and me, happily ever after. I hope to help others with my sharing. Unconditional love and practical ways feel your worth are themes in my work.