Life can be busy and very blurry sometimes with the hectic pace many of us take.  But sometimes, we are stopped in our tracks by something huge, tough and scary. 

It might be a death of a loved one or the death of a relationship.  It could be the loss of a job or maybe a dream seeming to fall apart.
 
During these crisis times, we can forget how to take care of ourselves, just when it is crucial that we do.  We may turn to other forms of relief and they may bring destruction.  We’re at a fragile point and something may have to give.

During these times it is best if we focus on the essentials, without putting too much pressure on ourselves.  This will help us to keep our wits about us so that we can stabilize, make decisions and eventually take baby steps forward.  

I divided these essentials into three well-known categories: mind, body and spirit. 

Mind

Affirmations/Focus Mantras

Let’s start with the mind.  Crisis can mean crazy for some and for others crisis can drop things to a primal level where what is truly important emerges.  Focusing our minds, quiets the noise of the “what could have beens” or the “I should haves.” 

Using affirmations or focus mantras (they are one in the same) can help focus and calm our minds and re-organize our nervous systems. 

Usually I suggest repeating affirmations at three intervals during the day, morning, noon and night.  I also say it is good to attach it to a behavior that you already do on a regular basis, like brushing your teeth. 

But, in crisis time, this is too much to remember.  Just write your affirmation down on sticky notes and post them around your world. On the bathroom mirror, inside the refrigerator, in your lunch.  Or, set the mantra as a reminder that pops up on your phone. 

If you notice yourself slipping into the mind games of “what could have been” or negative self-talk, you can repeat the affirmation to yourself too, it will help to refocus and calm your mind. 

Pairing up repeating the affirmations or mantras with deep breathing never fails to lift my spirits and clear my mind at least a little bit. 

Writing your own affirmations is awesome and useful, of course, but you may not want to dedicate the brain power to developing one, so here are some to choose from that you can start with.

I am willing to love myself unconditionally.
I am willing to heal.
I honor my wounds with love.
I look for solutions.
All of my solutions are coming to me now.

And if you’d like some more affirmations, check out this from Louise Hay, one of my favorite teachers. 
 
Body

Adding Instead of Subtracting

When a crisis hits, we may not be able to even figure out what we should eat, it takes too much brain power. 

Comfort food may be a siren call that offers relief, brief though it may be.  And, I contend that this isn’t the time to try to have perfect nutrition and put pressure on yourself about losing weight, even if it is a goal you have been working on.  That may add more pressure, and that’s not what we are after in this emergency situation. 

So, my suggestion is to focus on adding in more healthy foods like fruits and vegetables and drinking more water and not to concentrate on taking away foods.

Get Some Fresh Air

Going outside for a walk, whether it is on a city sidewalk or on a nature path can be a soothing elixir for both the body and soul. 

In my times of crisis, sometimes I just wanted to run as fast as I could, as if I could escape for a few minutes.  There were other times though, when I didn’t have the energy to run or even walk, but it felt good to just sit or lie down in the sun for a few moments of stillness. 

Sleep

Sleep can be elusive in a crisis.  But, getting physical rest is paramount in our healing and recovery from our grief, so it is worthwhile to put some effort here.  

I recommend setting up a sleep routine and sticking to it as much as possible.  Figure out how much sleep usually works best for you and how much time you need to get ready for bed.   

Set a time when you need to start getting ready for sleeping, then stick to it and go through the motions.  Your body does get used to the process.

There are some great apps like the Insight Timer that offer soothing guided meditations and music. Have those ready and then you can just press the buttons if necessary.  I like to use headphones when I don’t want to disturb anyone. 
 
Spirit

Connect

Doing something that helps to connect with your spirit is my advice here.  And, this is different for everyone; I’ve found that many people have various ways of connecting with their souls that works best for them. 

At times in my life, journaling has been helpful, sometimes it is listening to high vibe music and still other times it is looking at beautiful nature photographs or snuggling with my dogs. 

Here is a new one that I like, lighting a compassion candle for yourself.  It sets the intention for being loving and compassionate with yourself while you watch the pool of light flicker. 

Gratitude

This one is a sure fire way to boost my spirits and often times in a crisis they need boosting.  There are so many ways to play the gratitude game and be grateful for every moment.

Make a long list, make a short list, think of one thing and 5 reasons why you are grateful for it, take pictures of the things you are grateful for and then look back through them. 

During a crisis, you may need to go really basic and be thankful for deep breaths, your fingernails, clean water to drink or the last meal you ate. 
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Another comforting thought to me is what my mom often said, “this too, shall pass.”  Time does help heal our wounds, thinking of the time to come when you will feel more settled and at peace is a blessing in its self.  

“Perfect love casts out fear.  If fear exists, then there is not perfect love.” This quote from A Course in Miracles, speaks to its central concept of there only being two things, love and fear.

Everything is either love or fear.  Sounds interesting and thought provoking, but it may not make total sense; at least it didn’t to me. 

Then I started looking at my interactions and actions and started realizing the love or fear beneath them. When someone says something that bothers me, I can usually trace it back to feeling unworthy or a fear of not being good enough.

The other day, I was feeling particularly down with life and frustrated with my insurance company for troubles in getting the medicine that my son, who has Type 1 Diabetes, needs.  I was waiting in line at the pharmacy to ask questions, this was probably my 4th trip to the pharmacy to try to get what my son needed. 

Another person was at the counter talking to a pharmacy technician.  She started yelling at me that I was standing too close and was listening to her private conversation.  I apologized and assured her that I wasn’t listening and moved back right away. 

I was in my own mind as usual and really couldn’t even comprehend her issues, but I started blaming myself and then felt defensive.  I know it was fear of not being good enough, that I had done something wrong and had messed up,  that was in action there.  A similar feeling was also probably in action for the other person. 

I’m grateful that I could realize what was going on; because I was so worn-out I might have ended up in tears instead. 

I love this quote from Georgia O’Keefe, “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.” 

I wonder if this is how most people feel?  It makes me feel better to know that other people have fear battles too. And this quote, from Jack Canfield, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear,” has helped me through many moments. 

So, we know there is plenty of fear out there, and probably for most people.  Now what can we do to bust through it?

There are lots of ideas out there.  Here are 5 of my favorites that resonate with me.  I think it goes with the Goldilocks principle, you have to find what is right for you. 

Sometimes, some things work better at different times in your life or in varied situations, so it is good to have some tools to choose from.

See Fear Differently

Just being willing to see something differently can make a huge impact.  I have learned to look at fear as a teacher to learn from and one that is trying to protect me. 
I talk to my fear and say, thank you for trying to protect me.  But, I am trying something new now, unconditional love.  Then take a deep breath and keep going forward. 

Ask for Help

Asking for help may seem simple and obvious, but here it is asking for help from whatever you see as a higher power.  It may be God, it may be the universe, it may be your own inner light.  Asking for support  invites guidance in and opens you up to receive it. 

Release Fear Physically

Fear can reside in our physical bodies as tension and stresses our systems.  Close your eyes and seek where you can feel the fear.  For me, it is almost always in my lower gut. 
Then clench that area of your body for a few seconds and release it.  We are simulating releasing fear.  You can also clench and release other parts of your body to help rebalance you.

Drop the Oars

This concept comes from the spiritual teacher, The Abrahams.  I see dropping the oars as dropping control.  Letting go of your resistance and going with the flow.
 
When I feel fear creeping in, I am aware and realize that I am trying to control the situation and I will probably be much happier and more at peace, if I let go. 

So, I picture myself in a large boat trying to steer it with my small paddle.  I drop the oar, right in the water. 

Sometimes, when my mind keeps returning to the same fear place, I see myself stand up, muster all of my strength and throw the oar as far as I can. 

Listen to Some Healing Tones

I must tell you that I don’t totally understand this one, but it has helped me many times over.  It is music that uses frequencies combined with brainwave songs to give you relief. 

The one I love the most right now is 432 hz and is said to me a miracle tone and raise positive vibrations.  I can attest that it gives me gorgeous peace! 

The frequency of 396 hz is supposed to be good for liberation of fear and guilt. 
 
Talk to My Scaredy Self

This is one of my favorites lately.  I talk myself through it.  I know this will sound weird to some, but  from time to time I call myself, Scaredy Kim.   This is how that talk-through can play out.

“Here we are again, my Scaredy Kim, the little girl who works so hard to prove that she is worthy.  Thank you for all of your work and trying to protect me.  I am new now.  I’m willing to do things differently.  Let’s go play in the fun.  We’ll go together and we’ll choose love instead. ” I take her small hand and I open the door to bright sunlight and clear sounds of laughter and joy.   She looks up at me and I know she wants to go, although she is clinging tightly.  Together we take the step out into the sun.   

I hope this serves you and helps you release fear and find relief!