“Perfect love casts out fear. If fear exists, then there is not perfect love.” This quote from A Course in Miracles, speaks to its central concept of there only being two things, love and fear.
Everything is either love or fear. Sounds interesting and thought provoking, but it may not make total sense; at least it didn’t to me.
Then I started looking at my interactions and actions and started realizing the love or fear beneath them. When someone says something that bothers me, I can usually trace it back to feeling unworthy or a fear of not being good enough.
The other day, I was feeling particularly down with life and frustrated with my insurance company for troubles in getting the medicine that my son, who has Type 1 Diabetes, needs. I was waiting in line at the pharmacy to ask questions, this was probably my 4th trip to the pharmacy to try to get what my son needed.
Another person was at the counter talking to a pharmacy technician. She started yelling at me that I was standing too close and was listening to her private conversation. I apologized and assured her that I wasn’t listening and moved back right away.
I was in my own mind as usual and really couldn’t even comprehend her issues, but I started blaming myself and then felt defensive. I know it was fear of not being good enough, that I had done something wrong and had messed up, that was in action there. A similar feeling was also probably in action for the other person.
I’m grateful that I could realize what was going on; because I was so worn-out I might have ended up in tears instead.
I love this quote from Georgia O’Keefe, “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”
I wonder if this is how most people feel? It makes me feel better to know that other people have fear battles too. And this quote, from Jack Canfield, “Everything you want is on the other side of fear,” has helped me through many moments.
So, we know there is plenty of fear out there, and probably for most people. Now what can we do to bust through it?
There are lots of ideas out there. Here are 5 of my favorites that resonate with me. I think it goes with the Goldilocks principle, you have to find what is right for you.
Sometimes, some things work better at different times in your life or in varied situations, so it is good to have some tools to choose from.
See Fear Differently
Just being willing to see something differently can make a huge impact. I have learned to look at fear as a teacher to learn from and one that is trying to protect me.
I talk to my fear and say, thank you for trying to protect me. But, I am trying something new now, unconditional love. Then take a deep breath and keep going forward.
Ask for Help
Asking for help may seem simple and obvious, but here it is asking for help from whatever you see as a higher power. It may be God, it may be the universe, it may be your own inner light. Asking for support invites guidance in and opens you up to receive it.
Release Fear Physically
Fear can reside in our physical bodies as tension and stresses our systems. Close your eyes and seek where you can feel the fear. For me, it is almost always in my lower gut.
Then clench that area of your body for a few seconds and release it. We are simulating releasing fear. You can also clench and release other parts of your body to help rebalance you.
Drop the Oars
This concept comes from the spiritual teacher, The Abrahams. I see dropping the oars as dropping control. Letting go of your resistance and going with the flow.
When I feel fear creeping in, I am aware and realize that I am trying to control the situation and I will probably be much happier and more at peace, if I let go.
So, I picture myself in a large boat trying to steer it with my small paddle. I drop the oar, right in the water.
Sometimes, when my mind keeps returning to the same fear place, I see myself stand up, muster all of my strength and throw the oar as far as I can.
Listen to Some Healing Tones
I must tell you that I don’t totally understand this one, but it has helped me many times over. It is music that uses frequencies combined with brainwave songs to give you relief.
The one I love the most right now is 432 hz and is said to me a miracle tone and raise positive vibrations. I can attest that it gives me gorgeous peace!
The frequency of 396 hz is supposed to be good for liberation of fear and guilt.
Talk to My Scaredy Self
This is one of my favorites lately. I talk myself through it. I know this will sound weird to some, but from time to time I call myself, Scaredy Kim. This is how that talk-through can play out.
“Here we are again, my Scaredy Kim, the little girl who works so hard to prove that she is worthy. Thank you for all of your work and trying to protect me. I am new now. I’m willing to do things differently. Let’s go play in the fun. We’ll go together and we’ll choose love instead. ” I take her small hand and I open the door to bright sunlight and clear sounds of laughter and joy. She looks up at me and I know she wants to go, although she is clinging tightly. Together we take the step out into the sun.
I hope this serves you and helps you release fear and find relief!
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I was a school teacher for 20 years and am a lifetime soul learner. I am still a teacher, just a different curriculum.