How to Forgive and Move On

Why should we want to forgive and move on?  The simple answer is that it is the only thing that works and that sets us free. 
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The noise of holding grievances holds you back, stuck in the past, not able to move on, forward.   The noise can be deafening to your soul, because there is so much going on inside your mind and soul, it becomes impossible to hear anything else. 
 
The seemingly unforgivable acts loudly protest in your brain over and over again.  They rarely sleep.  It seems impossible to get away from them.  But it is only because you are holding onto them through clenched fists and you haven’t released them. 
 
Think about how beautiful the quiet peace could be if you released all that noise from your soul. 
 
You can open the door with your willingness and let them out by doing the work of processing the energy that remains.  Then you can have quiet and peace filling up the space in your mind instead of all that noise.  With peace and quiet you will be able to begin again.  
 
For me, I was finally able to stop thinking about the grievance 29 times a day. I could focus on other important things in life.  I realized I didn’t have time to hold on to those hurts, it takes far too much time and energy.   
 
You can write that book,  go run that marathon, paint or hang out with friends.  Think about all you can do with the time that has been stolen from you by holding onto the grievance.
 
You forgive for you; you deserve to be free of it.  I remember thinking that I wanted to remember everything about the offense, I had to remember it.  It was too important to let go of. 
 
But, I got to the point that it was too much to carry.  If I put all of my energy and brain power into remembering the details of the offense, I wasn’t free to move on in my life and do the things I wanted to do, like be a good mom to my kids.   Letting go of grudges and bitterness frees you to be who you truly want to be.
 
Similarly, you might feel like you are dishonoring yourself or your marriage or whoever was wronged if you forgive, but something that brings you peace and allows you to move on is a much better way of honoring than perpetual animosity or sadness. 
 
When it seems like innocence is drowning, forgiveness can be the life-giving air.  At times it appears as if the world is filled with continuous tragedy.  When I feel this way, I ponder forgiveness and all of its gorgeous possibilities. 

I am forever grateful for all of my lessons in forgiveness. 

I’ve learned that forgiveness offers peace and the promise of eventual joy through moving on. 

I’ve learned that forgiving yourself can be the hardest and most needed kind of forgiveness. 

I’ve learned that forgiveness is strong, not weak. 

I’ve learned that forgiveness changes vengeance to love and acceptance.

I’ve learned that forgiveness is a new beginning and a beautiful opportunity to start again. 

I’ve learned that forgiveness changes your energy from chaotic to calm.  This is awesome because since I believe we are all connected, when our energy changes so does everyone else’s.
 
Often times, we may want to forgive and may fully intend to forgive, but we may not know how.  Simply stating that we intend to forgive, but we need some time and space can be very helpful.
 
Another useful concept that I’ve heard many times, but I don’t know who to credit it with is:  It didn’t happen to me, it happened for me.  This puts the offense in a whole new light.  One, where, something good is coming out of a bad situation.

There has been some research on the key to forgiveness, which involves trust.  Of course, this makes sense, but I believe that the trust can come from you trusting yourself and your own inner light. 

This quote from A Course in Miracles, “Forgiveness offers everything I want,” resonates with me and makes sense to my soul.  I count forgiveness as one of my greatest blessings and I am so happy that I didn’t give up on it. 

When you are ready to try forgiveness, here is a one of my favorite forgiveness practices that helped me. 

I have found many, but this one resonates with my soul. I wrote this while searching and praying for a way that would help me do what I so desperately wanted to do, forgive. 

This beautiful process came to me so clearly that I know it was divine guidance. 

How to Forgive and Move On

1. Open Your Soul
2. Think of the Person You Want to Forgive (It may be you.)
3. Think of How They Have Been Hurt
4. Let Your Soul Understand
5. Imagine Them Being Healed By This Situation and Their Soul Learning and Growing
6. Ask for God’s Grace in Healing Your Soul
7. Begin Again
8. Repeat Until You Feel Free

I hope this serves you.

Namaste

Kim Trotto is a life and wellness coach, if you’d like to work on forgiveness or other issues in your life, click this link to set up a free 20 minute discovery call.  
https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=14571275&appointmentType=4631477